Across the Universe of Time
by TwiValkyrie
Summary: After almost a century of isolation and despair, true love crosses Edward Cullen’s universe, turning it upside down. A collection of random scenes from Twilight series and other ones that follow the saga’s plot-line told from Edward Cullen’s viewpoint.
1. Ragnarok

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the plot-line. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: I just wanted to point few things out before you read this. I am not in anyway comparing what I am writing to Stephenie Meyer's of course. And I am sure that no one would be able to bring Edward to life except her. But I was truly intrigued by the idea of an Edward version of twilight, and wrote many scenes from various books of the saga from Edward's point of view. This is should be my prologue!**

**Ragnarok**

"_All those years drifting in space  
__I've known you well yet I've never seen your face  
__You turn around, looking at me  
__Laughter in your eyes and know I can see.."_

_Hayley Westenra, "Across the Universe of Time"_

I've always imagined Carlisle as a Norse god and we as his followers. He had created an _Asgard_ for us; a _heaven_ in the midst of a dark and bleak universe. He had given us hope that we can fight and resist our vampire nature. But like the world of Norse mythology, I believed that our Asgard will not last forever and that our eternity is doomed. That like the Norse gods, one day our Ragnarok will come; that we will be defeated by the forces of evil. It could be our own nature that will eventually defeat us, or some our kind, or we'll be damned. Our souls were _lost_ forever, I knew that. But Carlisle didn't believe that, and the others though were not really decided, they were more _hopeful _and they enjoyed this life more than I did. Maybe it is because of _love_. Love has changed most of them. It made them more hopeful. I've seen this change clearly with Carlisle when he found Esme and Rosalie when she found Emmett.

But for me, it was never like that. I've never met anyone that I wanted to be with other than my family. And it didn't matter at that time. We were damned for eternity. Our whole existence was meaningless, endless. And nothing could change that. I've accepted that long ago, and went on living through the years waiting for it to happen; waiting for my own Ragnarok to come.

And it finally came, or that I thought. But it wasn't at all like what I had expected it to be. My Ragnarok manifested itself in the frail figure of a human girl whose blood had the most appealing scent I've ever known. I thought she was a demon summoned to release the monster inside me that I've tried to suppress all those past year. I longed for her blood and could see that my evil nature will overcome me. She was doomed to die and I was doomed to become a monster _again_.

But then the whole scene changed. I was mistaken. Bella was not meant to be my Ragnarok as I believed but my _savior_. My savior from this dark and bleak eternity. Instead of releasing the monster, she resurrected the human inside me. All those years I've waited for her but I didn't know what I was looking for and never imagined that I would find _love _across time. But true love comes when we least expect it. Suddenly, my whole world was on fire. Everything became hopeful. My existence ceased to be that endless series of disappointments. Time ceased to drag; every minute of my time with her, of her short life became so precious to me. I loved her but _feared_ for her. Feared her resentment. Feared that I might hurt her; that I wasn't strong enough. Would I be able to win her trust? Would she ever see me as someone worthy of her love? Would I be able to endure the pain? Would I be able to love her and protect her from myself…my world?

**A/N: In Norse mythology, the world of the Norse gods is described as a very bleak world. The gods of Norse mythology are portrayed as very lonely figures. Their eternity is doomed because they live with the knowledge that eventually the forces of evil will outnumber them and defeat them in the **_**Ragnarok**_**, the final battle in which the gods will lose. **_**Asgard**_**, the home of the gods, will fall into ruins. What mattered for them, however, is to fight and resist to the last even with the knowledge of their inevitable defeat.**

**So, what do you think? Does it sound like Edward?? Could you give it a percentage? If it sounds only 10% like Edward I'd be so happy!!**


	2. Confessions

****

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the plot-line. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Again, I am not in anyway comparing what I am writing to Stephenie Meyer's. This is merely fanfiction and I'm just a fan who happened to be so much in love with Edward Cullen! I'm still waiting for the authentic account Edward will _hopefully_ gives us someday! LOL! **

**This is a _part_ of the meadow scene from _Twilight_, told from Edward's viewpoint.**

**Confessions**

I lay down on the grass and closed my eyes. What was she thinking now? Would it finally be enough and she would run away screaming? Why wasn't she screaming? Why wasn't she running? I felt her sitting beside quietly beside me and could almost feel her eyes watching me intently. I wanted to open my eyes. To see the expression on her face. But I couldn't. I thought I'd _better_ not.

I started to hum a song very quietly to myself, trying to drown away all the thoughts that swept my mind. Was she finally afraid now? Why is she still here then? Have I lost all her trust now to the extent that she feared to speak her mind? To tell me what she was truly thinking? Was she afraid that I might hurt her if she tried to escape...if she finally pronounced her fear and her desire that I would take her home right now? And even if she wasn't afraid, would I be able to control myself? Would I be able to conquer the monster inside me? Could Alice's visions be true? I shuddered. No. Definitely no.

But I could feel how _warm_ she was sitting so close beside me. I could smell the delicious floral scent of her blood. It filled my head and burned my throat. I wanted to move closer to her. To touch her. No! No mistakes. I tried to distract myself focusing instead on the warmth of the sunlight on my skin, the feeling of the gentle wind on my face, its whispering sound as it moved through the trees...

But then I felt as if my skin had burned as she lightly touched the back of my hand with a trembling finger, breaking through all my defenses. My eyes opened abruptly. She was looking down at my hand, doodling aimlessly with her fingertip. Her warm light touch sent electric shock through my entire body. My throat burned even more than before. I could almost feel the monster growling trying to break free from the manacles. But his snarls were overshadowed by more overpowering feelings that were trying to break through a century of imprisonment too...feelings I couldn't even understand…

Bella kept tracing my hand with her fingertip, not meeting my gaze. What wouldn't I give away to know what she was thinking now? She didn't seem to be afraid! It was like...like she was _marveling_!! Not scared...not _yet_.

Finally she looked up.

"I don't scare you?" I asked her smiling, trying to keep it light.

"No more than usual." she replied calmly with a warm smile. Her answering smile made me feel like my heart would beat again. Like the sunlight breaking through a sky of heavy grey clouds. I smiled back at her, naturally, genuinely this time. It was too much. More than I deserved. More than anything I've ever dreamed of. She wasn't scared. She wasn't running. She looked as if she wanted to be with _me_! She looked..._happy_! I could feel all my walls crumbling into dust!

I took a deep breath, slightly relieved. Her warm scent mingled with the sweet fresh fragrance of the meadow filled my throat, burning its way down into my lungs. Yet, even with this flame burning me, I knew I was strong enough. This pain I was sure I could handle. It would be the price that I have to pay. But what I could _never_ endure was hurting her. The thought made me flinch. I closed my eyes again and could feel her fingers moving from my hand and trembling as they extended to my arm.

"Do you mind?" she asked calmly.

"No." I sighed, "You can't imagine how that feels."

Her fingers trailed lightly over my arm, steadier now, bolder. And I felt her other hand extending toward mine to turn it over. Her fingers froze, however, as I flipped my palm up for her. I had almost forgotten how fast and startling my movements might seem to her...to humans. But she just wasn't like everyone else. No one had ever dared to come that close. No one had ever been as warm, as trusting as she was. I opened my eyes again to see if she was frightened.

"Sorry," I apologized, "It's too easy to be myself with you." I explained closing my eyes again. But she didn't reply. She just held my hand in hers and lifted it up to her face, turning it over, watching it silently.

I couldn't bear it anymore. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking. Why wasn't she afraid? Why wasn't she disgusted with a freak like me?

"Tell me what you're thinking," I finally managed to ask, "It's still so strange for me not knowing." She studied at me for a while, her face was smooth, untroubled. Like this was one of our usual days at school.

"You know, the rest of us feel this way all the time." She answered casually.

"It's a hard life." I murmured ignoring her attempt to ease the tension. "But you didn't tell me." I insisted. She hesitated for a moment.

"I was wishing I could know what you were thinking..." she trailed off, her voice lower than before.

"And?" I encouraged.

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

"I don't want you to be afraid." I replied, trying to make her see, to assure her that I wouldn't…that I could never hurt her. And though I wanted her to take the danger more seriously, the truth is, I didn't want her to fear me.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant," she replied softly with a beautiful tiny smile on her face, "though that's certainly something to think about."

Oh well, as much as I wanted to this to be true I couldn't believe my ears. If this was not the fear she meant then what else could it be! Could there be anything more terrifying than her presence with a hostile vampire who craves her blood more than anything else, in a deserted place with absolutely no one around? I sat up propped on my right elbow so I could see her face better. I wished I could just get a glimpse of her thoughts. Just to be able to get once into her mind.

"What are you afraid of then?" I asked her intently. But she didn't reply. My closeness to her suddenly alarmed me. Her face was so close to mine. Worse. It wasn't just me. I could see her leaning reflexively even closer towards me, obviously drawn in by smell. Her sweet warm breath washed over my face and made my head swirl. Suddenly, all I could hear was the throbbing of her heart filling my ears and see it pulsing in the skin of her throat. The sight of it made my muscles tightened, twisting in _hunger_. The monster smiled. Alice's dark visions filled my head. No! No! No! I growled internally. I had to get away from her. I couldn't afford to be that close to her. I removed my hand from hers almost violently and ran to the edge of the meadow, putting as much distance between us as I could.

I gazed back at her. She was startled; stunned beyond words. She gazed back at me with shocked wounded eyes.

"I'm…sorry...Edward." she murmured in a broken whisper

"Give me a moment." I answered back, louder so she could hear. I needed a moment alone to get a grip. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she grasp the danger? Would she finally realize it when it's too late? What was wrong with _me_? How could I be so reckless? So _weak_? I promised myself no mistakes. How could I ever live with myself if I dared to...I could feel my dead heart twisting with the thirst I tried to suppress and yet with fear…fear for _her_. No. I wouldn't do that! I knew I would never do that. I was decided. I took one deep breath and slowly walked back to where she sat frozen waiting for me. I paused several feet away and sat on the ground. I couldn't afford to close that distance now. _No more mistakes._ I kept reminding myself as I stared at her. I took two more deep breaths to steady myself. She must be terrified now.

"I am so very sorry." I apologized not knowing how to begin or what to say, "Would you understand what I meant if I say I'm only _human_?"

But she didn't smile at my pathetic joke. She just nodded solemnly. And I could even smell the pulse of adrenaline rushing through her veins. Finally she was overcome by fear. Finally she could see the monster. The truth. Could she realize now how pathetic and meaningless all her attempts to get closer to a monster like me have been? Her faith in me, her bravery, her trust, the attraction between us always stunned me. Always took me by surprise and made me fall into the lapse of hoping...of believing that she could see me in a different way other than the deplorable monster that I am. Could she finally see it now that it was all a _wasted_ effort? That I'm not worth it? That I would ruin everything in the end no matter how much we both try? And how could I imagine that she would see me otherwise no matter how much she was drawn to me? How could I let myself hope so much? It was inevitable. I was even more disgusted with myself than before. I never deserved her.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I?" I said cynically staring into her wide, horror-stricken eyes. "Everything about me invites you in. My voice. My face. Even my smell. As if I needed any of that."

**A/N: Umm..I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this. I've wrote it all already but I think I still need to polish it up. And honestly, part of me doesn't want to publish the whole thing. I still want to hear it all from the_ real_ Edward! I'm still hoping and praying!**

**So, what do you think? Does sound like Edward?**


	3. Dream

******Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the plot-line. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: This is the scene from _Twilight_ again when Edward hears Bella says "I love you" for the first time. It was also the first night he had stayed with her, after their day at the meadow. Hope you would like it.**

**Dream**

She yawned. "I've answered your questions," I told her, "now you should sleep."

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked her, half-fearing that this was the case. But her reflex answer_ no_ came even louder and quicker than I expected. I couldn't help but laugh, utterly pleased by her reaction.

I started to hum that melody again - _her melody_ - so softly and watched her eyelids drooping as she drifted to sleep. I stopped as her eyes closed and her breath became even. I couldn't seem to take my eyes off her though, as she lay there sleeping with the most peaceful expression on her face. It wasn't the first night I had watched her sleeping, but definitely it wasn't like any other night either. That night she slept in my arms. That night she knew I was with her. And I didn't have to take my usual seat in the corner of the room. I tried to force back a chuckle as I glanced at my now empty rocking chair, feeling a strange surge of intimacy! Did Bella know that I sort of have _my own_ chair in her bedroom?

I turned back to stare at her too beautiful angel face. She slept like a child. Looking so innocent and beautiful, with her dark brown hair tangled around her gleaming smooth face. I wiped away a strand of hair from her forehead careful not to touch her lest she would wake up. And wondered if she was dreaming now. I half-smiled mockingly at myself. Never before this moment had I felt this urgent need to sleep. To _dream_. To have her in my dreams too. I wondered what a dream could feel like. I couldn't recall dreaming at all. My frail human memory just couldn't recall any.

But if I wasn't mistaken, a dream is something that might exactly feel like today. Yes, today felt like a dream to me. All the walls were down. And despite all the dark truths Bella knew about me, here she was, sleeping tranquilly in my arms and seeming perfectly happy. By some miracle I couldn't even understand, my love was requited. Bella truly cared for me. Of course I knew the way she felt about me would never match the love I felt for her. But it didn't really matter. I just wanted her to _let _me love her forever. It's all I could ask for. I remembered the first night I came here and the promise I made to myself. I would love her for the rest of my limitless existence and I would leave her human. If she became dissatisfied with our relationship of course I would understand. Of course I would let her go. But I would never stop loving her. And I would always be there when she needed me.

I was lost in my thoughts when she became restless and started mumbling. I turned back to her, smiling in anticipation. She kept mumbling some unintelligible words. I could only distinguish "Charlie" and "hiking"._ Hiking_! She must be dreaming about our day together. My smile even widened. Still, I couldn't understand half the words she was saying. I was frustrated as she became silent for a long moment. I thought her dream had ended and was about to drown in my own thoughts again. But as if to answer my earlier musings, I heard her mumbling in a barely audible, yet clearer tone, "I love you". I turned abruptly toward her deeply sleeping figure.

"Edward I love you. Please don't go. I love you, Edward." she murmured again and again, her voice fading out on my name. A shiver passed through my body shaking my entire being. And reflexively, I found my arms tighten protectively around her. Of course I knew she loved me. We've already declared ourselves. I didn't matter to say the words out loud. Or that I thought. Because hearing the words was utterly a different experience. I never imagined that they would have such an impact on me.

Stunned, I sat there frozen until she became so still again and then I leaned forward pressing my lips gently to her forehead. Bella _loved me_. She really did.

I tore my face unwillingly from her and stared to the ceiling as new thoughts flooded my mind. Bella did love me as much as I loved her. I was too selfish before…too self centered maybe to assume otherwise. My mind still believed it though. It wasn't that I was underestimating her feelings, but I just couldn't imagine any human love that would equal the passion I felt for her. She did alter me completely. The danger of exposure seemed nothing compared to the fear of her resentment. And I was ready to risk everything for her. My whole existence seemed pointless without her. I would willingly put it in her power.

But isn't this what precisely Bella was doing too? She was putting her frail existence in my power. She was sacrificing humanity and willingly risking her life to be with me. She was willing to lose everything and go over the borders of sanity for _what_? For_ me_? I looked at her questioningly, almost shocked and dazzled by such revelation.

And as much as Bella wanted to take me into her life and disrupt the order of the universe for such a love, as much as I was willing to take her into my life too. In the beginning, I feared she would loathe me if she knew the truth and feared she would get hurt if she became involved in my world. But this fear won't stop me now. I don't want to scare her away anymore. I want her to _know_ _me_, know my family, my life, no matter how much that would cost me. Even if she decided it was too much and ran away from me. I still want her to know me. Yes. That is precisely what I am going to do in the morning. I'm going to take her to see my family. I want her to know everything.

I turned toward her again and stared at her for a long moment. Then carefully I removed my arm from around her and got out of the bed. Time to let them know too.


End file.
